One Size Fits All
by SiriusMarauderFan
Summary: Quirrell wakes to discover his precious turban has been ripped to shreds and must find a substitute immediately. one shot.


**Author's Note:** Written for…

The A-Maze-Ing Race Challenge. _Prompt:_ perfume

My Boring Life Competition. _Scenario:_ Quirrell goes turban shopping

Rubik's Cube Challenge. _Prompt:_ sunshine

10 Characters, 10 Prompts challenge. _Prompts:_ Quirinus Quirrell, annoy

Open Category Competition 2. _Category:_ Could Be Canon (missing moments)

**One Size Fits All**

Why did everything always fall apart at the last second?

It was a week until term started and Quirinus had everything in place. He was already settled into his new position as Defense professor and had prepared his lesson plans three months in advance. All that was left was to perfect his plan to steal the philosopher's stone from Gringotts in a few weeks.

It was all going so well, so naturally something had to fall apart. He just didn't expect that something to be his turban.

It was perfectly fine – intact and neatly rolled, lying on his desk when he went to bed, but it was in shreds on the floor when he woke. His door was ajar and there was cat hair all over the place.

"Bloody cat," he muttered angrily, disposing of the ruined cloth. Filch's cat had never liked the professor, but she'd been even more hostile towards him since he returned from his year-long sabbatical, and seemed to be doing everything in her power to annoy him.

He decided to skip breakfast. There was no way he could show himself to anyone without a turban, and he only had the one. Thankfully he and the dark lord hadn't merged themselves yet, but there was still the issue of the faculty expecting him to be wearing the infernal garment.

He dressed quickly and pulled up the hood of his robe to cover his bald head. He took hidden passageways and avoided shortcuts that he knew the other faculty would be using that morning. He wasn't sure where he was going, but he needed to find a spare bit of cloth soon. Turbans weren't Madam Malkin's specialty, after all.

After a half an hour of aimless walking, Quirinus found himself in the vicinity of the North Tower, where Divination was held. Trelawney was one of the few teachers who lived in the castle year-round, but it just so happened that she was away that particular week, visiting family, and would returned until the day before term began.

He seized his chance, rushing up the stairs and barging into the room, and immediately regretting it. The room smelled badly of incense and cheap perfume, as if the woman hadn't aired it out at all in the last ten years.

Quirinus covered his mouth and nose and began rummaging through trunks, and in Sybill's bedchamber, just off the classroom. He'd hoped she'd left a dress somewhere that he could use. After fifteen minutes and no luck, the fumes became too much for him. He pushed aside a panel of the dusty rose drapes, opened a window and stuck his head outside.

He squinted against the sunshine streaming in his eyes. He could vaguely make out the outline of Hagrid coming up from his hut, and with a start Quirinus recalled asking to meet with the groundskeeper after breakfast for assistance with acquiring a creature for his class. He pulled himself back into the tower and shut the window.

He needed a turban, and fast. But all he could find in the blasted classroom were teacups and crystal balls and the hideous dusty rose drapes.

He stared at the drapes for a long time, weighing his options. There were quite a lot of them on the curtain rod, surely more than was needed. Sybill wouldn't miss just one panel, would she?

It was easily cut down with a severing charm, and another using to slice it in one long ribbon. Still, Quirinus couldn't bear to put it on his head for the perfume had saturated it. He performed a cleansing charm, which didn't so much take away the scent but change it into something difference and unrecognizable. Then his changed the color. He wanted it to be black, like his old one had been, but the best he could do was a dark purple.

He didn't have time to work on it anymore. Hagrid was faster than he looked, and Quirinus would have just enough time to run all the way back to his office before the giant got there. He wrapped the new turban around his head, securing it with a few minor sticking charms, and left the tower.


End file.
